if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away
at least 2014 didnt start out with someone sucking on a tampon
school taught me a lot of stuff but mostly it taught me how to get ready in 15 minutes
how are all these math classes going to help me become a new york it girl with a huge wardrobe and a boyfriend in an indie rock band that writes songs about me
to quote hamlet act III scene iii line 92, “no”
"stop saying straight men are weak and pathetic"
i had to listen to a man describe how the fact that his girlfriend’s farts are louder and stronger than his is making him feel self conscious and emasculated on the radio today
when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man
I wish my wallet came with free refills
i’m so possessive over people but like a quiet possessive because i dont want to be clingy so i kinda just angrily stare at people from afar
hearing your voice through a recording
DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A ᶠʳᶦᶜᵏᶫᵉ ᶠʳᵃᶜᵏᶫᵉ
THIS PHOTO IS CRAZY! HE CAN’T EVEN SEE THE TSUNAMI BEHIND HIM!?!
employer: it says here on ur résumé that u speak two languages fluently is that correct??
me: yes I speak English and emoji fluently :)
employer: wtf emoji isn’t a language
employer: damn tru lmao ur hired